I'm a Bad Ass

I have always had a difficult time accepting credit and pats on the back.  Trying to be humbled turned me into a person who crossed the line of being weak minded.  Not giving myself enough credit for my battles, my challenges, and my decisions.  Things don't just fall into our laps, we work towards them.  Consciously or not. That's what we do, every single day of our lives. Which leads me to my story........

Back in February, I was diagnosed with a "severe degenerative disk".  I had been living with my pain for over a year.  Making one excuse after another and I chose to just suck it up.  When it started disrupting my sleep, I finally decided to consult a physician.  The intern who came in and gave me the bad news had me in tears.  I'll never do Crossfit again.  I had the back of a 70 to 80-year-old.  He even asked me if I did competitions?  He was completely perplexed why I took the news so hard. Surely, this was more than just exercise if I was balling my eyes out.

Why did I take the news so hard? Because I finally found my self-worth with exercise.  An exercise that pushes me, scares me at times but always makes me feel stronger afterward.

The Orthopedic surgeon wanted me to do cortisone shots and lay off the exercise.  He didn't recommend an MRI or physical therapy.  Just a quick shot for the pain and he was done with me.  If anyone knows me, they know that I'm not a fan of pharmaceuticals,  especially if it's only to address the problem and not cure the problem.  It was a band-aid that would only have me returning to the doctor's office every few months.  What kind of life would that be!?

Since then, I have educated myself in regards to spinal injuries and degenerative disks.  I listened to my inner voice and took not the easy road but the road to recovery and a healthy, semi pain-free lifestyle.  I mean really, who at age 50 doesn't have a few creaks, aches and soreness from time to time.

Mind you, I still had a two-day pity party for myself.  Which included three Corona Lights while in the pool crying.  It was a sad state of affairs that day.  John laughed at my pathetic display and gave me his best pep talk.  1) Fuck the doctor's opinion 2) Let's get an MRI for a better analysis 3) Talk to your coach and your chiropractor.   I love my husband.  When I am weak he is there for me.

I write this because I know that I am not the only one hit with roadblocks from time to time. Especially as we age.  Have your time to mourn, that your body isn't 20 something anymore. But then kick ass.

I could not have done this alone.  I was armed with one of the best Crossfit coaches in Houston.  He listened, he worked out a plan and got me back to lifting weights and doing Crossfit WODs in a smooth steady pace.  Matt Phillips is the owner of http://crossfitsilverback.com/ This box works very well for me and love the second family that I have here.

My Chiropractor Dr.  Clayton Hall at http://www.mobilitychirotherapy.com/ was a huge asset.  He talked me off the ledge and designed a physical therapy plan to make my core stronger in order to return to Crossfit.  He also ordered the MRI, that I needed to really look at what we are dealing with and arranged physician consultation to discuss the MRI findings.  You could see his genuine concern and determination to improve my back issues. Smart guy.

My pyramid of strength came from these two trainers; the foundation to keep me steady was from my family as well as my Crossfit Girl-Rillas.

What I'm trying to tell you is that success is from within but you need to make sure you arm yourself with people who want to see you succeed.  Because when times get hard you will need them to boost your morale.

When you have that inner voice telling you that you can't do another calorie row, or push up or even walk into the gym, you have your "team" behind you helping to tell that little negative voice to Shut the Fuck Up!