Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Being You

Someone once said about Life that no one gets out alive.  What I gathered from that statement is make it worth living.

Being a parent of a gay son I am reminded that we must all live our lives with honesty.  The most important value, I believe is being true to who you are.   I have never written about this before but have seen the struggles with some parents, family and friends when a loved one comes out to them. Those people have two choices, 1) to accept them 2) to leave them be.  There should not be an in between.  Why be part of that person's life if only to inflict pain, shame, and guilt.  Leave them.

They are not going to change.  They do not have that choice.  YOU do.  You can change to be the support, and unconditional love they deserve.

Some friends asked me how I reacted to Emilio's news.  And in all honesty, we knew.  There were so many signs of him being gay and we thought when the time came he would tell us.  And he did.  I still cried. Not when he told me but later when I got home. Because despite the fact we love our son without condition, I still had dreams of a daughter in law, and a more "regular' type of life.  I squirm typing the word "regular" or "normal" because that is non-existent.  We all define those two words and that's okay.

I cried becuase needed time to mourn my dreams.  But I would have suffered knowing that my child was living a life for us and not being true to himself.  I would be in agony knowing that he was miserable trying to be part of a society that discriminates towards his beliefs and his civil rights without him voicing his intolerance of such behavior.

I am sure it wasn't easy for him in the beginning wondering how many "friends" he would lose or how may unkind acts or words where said and done.  I've never asked him.  I was worried for him but knew in my heart of hearts that this is who he is and I as well as John were so proud of him.  We still are and will continue to be his biggest supporter.

I write this not for my son but all those who yet to have THAT conversation with their parents or siblings.  And for those in the process.

It's difficult in the beginning but very well worth it as you follow your path.  Fore there is enough love in this world for all.

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