Friday, June 12, 2015

Good-bye Pop

Time is on our side, yes it is.  Unfortunately, that is farther from the truth.  I always had the thought in my head, "there is always tomorrow".  But the fact is, that it's not true for everyone.  We lie to ourselves on a daily basis that we have time to say the unspoken, to make amends, to care a little bit more next time, or see the sunrise another morning.  We honestly and realistically don't know if that is true but we keep the faith.

My father in law was a big part of our lives and I did not realize just how much until he died.  He was my tagalong, my extra child, my responsibility.  That's how I saw him.  I never knew him prior to Parkinson's.  And the days he was healthy and self sufficient, those days were spent in his beloved home town of Lake Charles.  I inherited my dad towards the difficult years of his life.  I so wish I new him prior.  But the bittersweet part is that I loved him even more because he was mine and Johns.  What I mean to say is that no one else looked after him, except us.  His dozen calls a day, his calls to us on weekends to find out what we were all doing that weekend as a family, lunches, crab boils, Father's days, holidays, all were spent with us. My family and some with John's family.  Mostly and undeniably we became his only source of family.  I had a hard time with this, more times than not.  My heart ached for him, seeing him so alone.  I ended spending more time with him than my own mother.  My mom at least has family that calls her and visits.  

I moved him here after some very awful people took advantage of him and we came to realize he needed assistance with managing his medication. If you have elderly parents, you know how difficult a change that can be for them.  Dad didn't complain or put up a fight when I brought him to live with us. But every chance he got, he would express his desire to go home and see his friends.  That was the hardest part.  John did take him back a few times, but of course, it was never enough.

Looking back I am glad I spent time with him, alone.  I respected him as a parent, he loved his boys so much.  All of them without doubt.

I will miss my tagalong, my dairy queen partner, my beautiful father figure who gave me an amazing husband and friend.  He raised his boy with honor, love, compassion and most of all respect.

Thank you Castle for being an incredible father in law.  May you find peace and be whole again.

Happier days, Thanksgiving 2009

At Emilio's house on Christmas Day

Christmas present from us.

Visiting grandpa

Thanksgiving at our home

Holiday gathering at Solana

Not too sure about "selfies", Bowling


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