Thursday, September 20, 2012

Living with a long distance teenager

 Words are hard to describe the fine line I walk in trying to be a parent of a teenager,  add to that the long distance relationship factor and it turns into the likes of disassembling a bomb.  Each minute ticking away like it might be your last. Your last time that your daughter will talk to you about her life, hardships, school, and most of all boys.  I never had a close relationship with my mom growing up and I am trying to avoid the same future for Shelby and I. 

Raising a soon to be 17 year old is much different than a 15 year old.  She is more sure of her choices and who she wants to be.  This sounds great except that I feel that she isn't comfortable being 100% her self in front of me.  At times I catch a glimpse of this brand new adult and I smile inside.  

Showing too much emotion and expressing how beautiful, wonderful, exceptionally smart she is, is a sign of parental "blah, blah, blah, and more blah".  Like I'm obligated to say such things.  There is no value in words only in actions.   This is the major difference between raising a child and having a teenager. 
I can no longer joke with her friends or be part of her social circle.  I get it.  I wouldn't want my mom to be friends with my friends.  But I honestly think I am way cooler than my mom.  I'm just saying. 

 What other mom would go shark diving with them??!?!?

I am sure she doesn't see it this way.  I just want her to see me.  And most of all to talk to me and for me to listen instead of reacting.  Another big difference in teenagers and children.  Children want you to solve their problems and make them feel better.  Teenagers want to stand on their own two feet.  Isn't this what we as parents have worked so hard to have them do.  Then I ask you, you few who read this, why is it so hard to let go?

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