Sunday, April 15, 2012

To the young parents out there

2002 Family Pic
I just read an article about what children want (guess what it is Y O U!) and it made me cry.  I am lucky enough to have a daughter who tells me what a great mom she has.  And if that wasn't enough my son does the same.  I am truly blessed to know and have delivered to my children the time, energy and patience they each needed.  And I could not have done this if it wasn't the support of my husband who works extremely hard so that I could devote all my time to the family and myself.  I'm not perfect by any means, but I knew when to apologize, to be still and listen, and to let my children see me angry or crying. I think it's very important that children see you that you too have faults, cry and get angry.  They need to see the process of getting back on your feet.  How else will they know it's normal to be human, to have these emotions.  To work at relationships, struggle through jobs and career choices, etc.  Emilio has been working part time for a String store in Boston for a few months now and knowing that he will be graduating in May has been seeking full time employment in order for him to stay in Boston.  We are so proud of him for the energy and enthusiasm he has approached in finding a job.  We have been warning him that come May, our rent obligation ends and he will need to have the money for his living expenses.   We have joked back and forth on this and we could tell that it scared him knowing that he was not going to have that responsibility covered anymore.  He voiced his concerns like most of us do by joking about being homeless or having to live on friends couches for a while, etc.  But I also with time noticed how the joking stopped and his creative mind and hard work ethic took over.

My point being is that we have seen so many parents become enablers to their children's lack of success and undermining their potential that we wanted to make sure we NEVER did such a thing but at the same time there is that fine line in which you need to reassure your college kid they still have your support and love during this transition.  Budgeting strategies, how to write that perfect resume, and okay I still spring for dinner now and then for him but it's not a weekly occurrence.  However, it does make me feel good! And I only do it when he calls and ask which is maybe twice a month, if that.  

I still call him my little man, at age 21 and 5' 7", the numbers really don't matter.  He is forever my first born, my son, my anchor to staying young.  So all you young moms & dads out there, be there for your children and they will not disappoint. But also remember to balance that parenting with time for you.  I know see so many parents in their 20's  mastering the art of balance and just love how far we have come!
2010 Family



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